Houseplant Guardian Gifts

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Gardener attacked by plants.

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

Garden Gnome fishing all the fish for pond.

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

Bumble Bee

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

Biodiversity

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

Man transplants plant in his garden.

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

'I prefer the term 'mobile home'.'

"Relax. They're just crows."

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

Fenwick, while I'm away I'm putting you in charge of the plant.

"Remember that half-dead sansevieria you put out on the balcony back in January of 1994, pal?"

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

"Whoever dug up my carrots had better learn to play dead, fast."

The Houseplant Cemetery.

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

'Take me to your weeder!'

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

'Oh yes I talk to them all the time. Except the aspidistra. Not since the argument.'

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

Man is injured transporting cacti.

"Why do humming birds hum? Because they don't know the lyrics."

Beekeeping 101