Household Chaos Gifts

Domestic Harmony.

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"I need to know who started it."

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

"I fell in the mud again. Maybe I need a stunt double."

'Dad won't buy me a puppy, so I'm teaching him to bark!'

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

The revenge of Russell

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

'My sales training was right. The person in the highest chair is dominant.'

'How many kids do you actually have?'

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

"Normally things don't get me down. But lately, just getting out of bed has been difficult."

'Found her. Keeping her.'

"I'm running a loose ship."

"It's perfectly all right. I used to do the same sort of thing when I was a little boy."

'Separate vacations - four of 'em!'

"Honey have you seen my phone? I can't find it anywhere...I swear I left it on the coffee table but now it's gone..."

'You were the one who said you'd like him to bring some of his friends home. . .'

Landslide Hazard

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. II

"Family vacation is an oxymoron."

'We need another refrigerator, Mom.'

'You must excuse us. Things are a bit upside-down at the moment.'

'No more kids, Steve -- I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.'

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

"Found it! The cat was using it as a pillow."