Household Chaos Gifts

Domestic Harmony.

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

The Family Joules: Part 16

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"I need to know who started it."

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

'Dad won't buy me a puppy, so I'm teaching him to bark!'

"I fell in the mud again. Maybe I need a stunt double."

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

The revenge of Russell

'My sales training was right. The person in the highest chair is dominant.'

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

'How many kids do you actually have?'

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

"It's perfectly all right. I used to do the same sort of thing when I was a little boy."

"Normally things don't get me down. But lately, just getting out of bed has been difficult."

'Found her. Keeping her.'

"I'm running a loose ship."

'Separate vacations - four of 'em!'

"Honey have you seen my phone? I can't find it anywhere...I swear I left it on the coffee table but now it's gone..."

'You were the one who said you'd like him to bring some of his friends home. . .'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. II

Landslide Hazard

"Family vacation is an oxymoron."

'We need another refrigerator, Mom.'

'You must excuse us. Things are a bit upside-down at the moment.'

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

'No more kids, Steve -- I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.'