Household Chaos Navigator Gifts

"Found it! The cat was using it as a pillow."

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

How to correctly estimate cooking time

'How do you know I won't shrink if I didn't come with a washing instructions tag?'

'Anthony! And all over my new carpet! Bad cat! Bad cat!'

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

Desperate Househusbands: 'Help! My wife left me with the kids for two minutes while she ran to the store. Help!'

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

You can't focus on the cost of raising a child. True. They do have benefits. Mom! The glue spilled into your underwear drawer! Dad! Where's the toilet plunger? Though nothing specific leaps to mind.

"It's funny how that works. It doesn't matter where I am in the house... I can always tell when the novel isn't going well."

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

"It's perfectly all right. I used to do the same sort of thing when I was a little boy."

Reason #149 for making sure the whole family wears seat belts: It helps keep the kids quiet.

"It's all right dear, it only seems what it is."

Working from home.

"I'm running a loose ship."

How men shop for towels.

'I don't think he'll be having a party next year - I heard his mother scream 'Never again'.'

"I've been a mess since Jake left for college, so now we have a boy who comes in a couple of times a week to leave wet towels all over and challenge everything I say."

'Please excuse the mess guys.My husband's doing a correspondence course in Embalming.'

"Did he sleep through the night again?"

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. II

Tantrum Scene Do Not Cross

'You must excuse us. Things are a bit upside-down at the moment.'

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

"Has anyone seen my half-chewed-up piece of dehydrated squirrel carcass?"

Dad reaching into medicine cupboard

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. III

"Edna, have you fallen asleep in the bath again?"

Travelling with child Sketchbook - day 1

Tired parents

Ron, I used this while you were on vacation. Please refill. Love, mother.