House Inspector Gifts

'Ma'am, I'm afraid the insulation in the walls of your gingerbread house contains dangerously high levels of cholesterol.'

'I think it's past its sell-by date.'

"The fish sticks here are very good."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

'I found the termites!'

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

HELLth Food Sprouts

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

'The roof needs icing.'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

"Homes on Holmes"

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed house site, but that I'm not familiar with your planet's building codes.'

'My building inspector just doesn't understand me.'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

Fire door.

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."