Real Estate Inspector Gifts

'That must be the termite inspector.'

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

'I found the termites!'

Ice Cream And Summer Rentals

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

'The roof needs icing.'

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

'My building inspector just doesn't understand me.'

"Homes on Holmes"

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed house site, but that I'm not familiar with your planet's building codes.'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

"What do you mean you wouldn't sweat the water in the basement."

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

'That's subsidence Sir Bryan - The charts are over here.'

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed mini-mall site, but that I'm not as familiar with your galaxy's zoning laws as I'd like to be.'

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

"You've got a real fungus problem. You'll have to move out until it's taken care of."

'Keep your feet on the joists, Cedric.'

"Well, we could just tell everyone we have an indoor pool!"

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'