Home Safety Inspector Gifts

'It's so reassuring to know that our sprinkler system is on the ball.'

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

'I found the termites!'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

Time Out For Teddy

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

'The roof needs icing.'

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

"Homes on Holmes"

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

Job Safety - Hardhat.

Nuclear waste.

'My building inspector just doesn't understand me.'