Home Safety Supervisor Gifts

"Can you hold on a sec? I need to check on Timmy."

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"Beware of God"

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

The proper way to wear your mask

Mouse security camera.

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

"We've completely child-proofed our home."

'Throw it out. . . we never use it, unless you can think of someone that might need it.'

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

Santa hosing the Chimney.

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'

'New normal' family life

"Thank goodness, it was only 'light' reading..."

'Goodnight honey... did you remember to unplug the baby?'

'I know the fire's in the kitchen, but that program just irks the hell out of me.'

"Let's pick up our cars now, 'kay Puddin'?"

'Which end's the shallow end?'

"Maybe this is insignificant, what with everything going on in the world, but do we have a fire extinguisher?"

'You said to call back if the gas problem got worse.'

'Face it, you're mechanically impaired.'

"Honey, your radon testing kit is here."

"Which area of the house is the most dangerous? A. Your wet bathroom, B. Your dirty kitchen, or C. Your cluttered garage?"

"Did we turn off the stove?"

"Knock! Knock! Who's there? What, seriously? You mean you haven't installed personal security cameras?"

"Ooops....I guess this one failed."

'Is your house baby-proofed?'

'I told you he was smart. He turned a potential hazard into a plaything.'

"They're only dummy home security signs, but I've sharped the edges so they'll cut you like a razor."