Home Safety Seeker Gifts

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

No Soliciting

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'You don't think you're just a tad overprotective?'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

"Not enough money is being spent on safety, so be careful."

"I forgot to turn on the alarm." "It's all right, Peedy is there."

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

"I like to think of myself as a vital link in the homeland-security system."

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

House hunting is cruel.

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

Adopt your wireless home security system today!

'It is a huge property, originally built by a Condor: Perfect for a large family...'

The bulb family leaves for vacation

'I can't understand how those burglars could clean out our house so quietly.'

'Do you ever get this weird, primitive yearning to sit behind a large block of wood?'

'Your father installed a security system.'

"We've completely child-proofed our home."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

'Throw it out. . . we never use it, unless you can think of someone that might need it.'

Maybe next tiime you'll hand in the risk assessment on time