Home Safety Supervisor Pillows

"Can you hold on a sec? I need to check on Timmy."

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"Beware of God"

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

The proper way to wear your mask

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

Mouse security camera.

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"We've completely child-proofed our home."

'Throw it out. . . we never use it, unless you can think of someone that might need it.'

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

Santa hosing the Chimney.

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'

"Thank goodness, it was only 'light' reading..."

'Goodnight honey... did you remember to unplug the baby?'

'New normal' family life

'I know the fire's in the kitchen, but that program just irks the hell out of me.'

'Which end's the shallow end?'

"Maybe this is insignificant, what with everything going on in the world, but do we have a fire extinguisher?"

'You said to call back if the gas problem got worse.'

'I told you he was smart. He turned a potential hazard into a plaything.'

"Honey, your radon testing kit is here."

"Which area of the house is the most dangerous? A. Your wet bathroom, B. Your dirty kitchen, or C. Your cluttered garage?"

'I lost him in the house, but don't worry, a snake that big should be easy to find.'

"Did we turn off the stove?"

"Ooops....I guess this one failed."

"They're only dummy home security signs, but I've sharped the edges so they'll cut you like a razor."

'Is your house baby-proofed?'

"Knock! Knock! Who's there? What, seriously? You mean you haven't installed personal security cameras?"

'Well those stair gates were a complete waste of money'