House Inspector T-Shirts

'Ma'am, I'm afraid the insulation in the walls of your gingerbread house contains dangerously high levels of cholesterol.'

"The fish sticks here are very good."

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

'I found the termites!'

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

HELLth Food Sprouts

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

'The roof needs icing.'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed house site, but that I'm not familiar with your planet's building codes.'

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'My building inspector just doesn't understand me.'

"Homes on Holmes"

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

Fire door.

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

"I'm going in."

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."