Housing Inspector T-Shirts

'As the housing inspector, I'm telling you to install a smoke detector.'

'I'm serving you with a schedule of dilapidation.'

Yes. This is definitely a house. The Housing Authority closes another tough case.

"There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have trouble with those in the back yard."

"The fish sticks here are very good."

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

'I found the termites!'

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

HELLth Food Sprouts

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

'The roof needs icing.'

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

"Homes on Holmes"

'My building inspector just doesn't understand me.'

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed house site, but that I'm not familiar with your planet's building codes.'

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

Fire door.

"I'm going in."

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'