House Closing Gifts

"We'd love to come, Louise. What's appropriate attire for a closing?"

She left lots of photos out so the cat wouldn't miss her while she was away...

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

Golden parachutes inc. - 'Our pleas for bail-out funds were ignored.'

Kentucky Fried Horse

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

'Behind every great business deal is a company lawyer advising against it.'

' Oh no! I'm being repossessed! '

Line on graph goes right through floor.

You dope! Why would you build our home right next to a power plant?

'We're e-bankrupt.'

Sales

Small Businesses Go Under.

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

"Mr. Joyner, while you were out, your carefully constructed financial empire collapsed like a house of cards."

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

Bookshop: Closed, Coming Soon Here Internet Cafe.

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

"Can I dress business casual even though I lost our business?"

"According to the most recent report, we have no recourse but to abandon ship."

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

Monopoly game - "You just gazumped me!"

Shop signs: then vs. now

'Business is very good. We'll soon be moving to smaller premises.'

Theater Owner Who Refused To Convert To Digital Projection.

Mattress sale

'I've put the business up for sale.'

Rats Flea a Sinking Ship

"...I need some closure. Can we go ahead and spin the Wheel Of Blame?"

Auctioneer of the Year: Edward Hammerhands.

'Well sir, out 'idyllic country cottage' may be a bit extreme, but you have to admit its got potential.'