House Closing Gifts

"We'd love to come, Louise. What's appropriate attire for a closing?"

She left lots of photos out so the cat wouldn't miss her while she was away...

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

Golden parachutes inc. - 'Our pleas for bail-out funds were ignored.'

Kentucky Fried Horse

'Behind every great business deal is a company lawyer advising against it.'

' Oh no! I'm being repossessed! '

Line on graph goes right through floor.

'We're e-bankrupt.'

Sales

Small Businesses Go Under.

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

"Mr. Joyner, while you were out, your carefully constructed financial empire collapsed like a house of cards."

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

"Can I dress business casual even though I lost our business?"

Bookshop: Closed, Coming Soon Here Internet Cafe.

"According to the most recent report, we have no recourse but to abandon ship."

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

'Business is very good. We'll soon be moving to smaller premises.'

Theater Owner Who Refused To Convert To Digital Projection.

Mattress sale

'I've put the business up for sale.'

"...I need some closure. Can we go ahead and spin the Wheel Of Blame?"

Rats Flea a Sinking Ship

'Well sir, out 'idyllic country cottage' may be a bit extreme, but you have to admit its got potential.'

Auctioneer of the Year: Edward Hammerhands.