Mortgage Closing Gifts

Foreclosed horse

'Gentlemen, I've been authorized to sweeten the offer.'

Money exchange

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

'Behind every great business deal is a company lawyer advising against it.'

"Anyway, we'd love to have You on board for the Creighton deal."

"And here you see where we successfully concluded the merger to everyone's mutual benefit."

'The contracts look good. Why don't you have your disgusting pests call my disgusting pests.'

"I believe around the offices I'm referred to as the rich, fat, b***ard. I like it."

"Let us pray for the possessed...and the re-possessed"

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

'That was Mr.Osgood, sir. He's just made his final payment.'

What do you mean, you've done more for me than my mother did? We've carried you for 10 months!

'Is there anything we can do to repay you other than to repay you?'

'We have a cash flow problem too. Our problem is that your mortgage payments aren't flowing our way.'

Bitch-Slapped-By-The-Invisible-Hand-Of-The-Marketplace Sale

'Don't be alarmed at closing when you sign you name so many times you don't recognize your own signature.'

"Excuse me, sir. I am prepared to make you a rather attractive offer for your square."

"Good morning Mr. Perkiss - I'm from your local bank. I've come to take our house back..."

Sale! Going Out of Monkey Business

Just another life lesson son. Nothing in life is free.

"Murray, I need you to push a little harder on my home sale. I'm starting to get a little under water on my mortgage."

Foreclosure

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

"I want a reverse mortgage. Take me back to when I didn't have one."

"When you get a title remember title insurance."

Tannery.

"Please! Let me through. I don't have time to go around."

"Chins up, people. It ain't over 'til the fat cat sings."

"We'd love to come, Louise. What's appropriate attire for a closing?"

The Bank Bogey Man

"Bloody building society keeps hassling us about the mortgage payment."

"I think a lot of Log Cabin Republicans had their log cabins foreclosed."