Foreclosure Gifts

Card section: Condolence (real estate).

"Rub it in why don't ya!"

Bitch-Slapped-By-The-Invisible-Hand-Of-The-Marketplace Sale

'That resembles the look on my banker's face when he foreclosed on my house.'

"Well, you wouldn't tell me how much you earned, so I didn't tell you how much we owed."

"They foreclosed on our home equity loan."

"So, with our local governments getting less and less, and our expenses getting more and more...where shall we turn?"

Delinquent Home Owners

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

'Hey, so we're foreclosed. Look on the bright side. You don't have to clean the tub, and I don't have to shovel the driveway.'

'I'll be putting in a lot more hours at work since I lost my home.'

'Sold?...Sold?...S-O-L-D?...What the hell does that mean?'

"Let us pray for the possessed...and the re-possessed"

Just another life lesson son. Nothing in life is free.

"You'll lose your home, but, since it was your dream, you may keep the white picket fence."

The Braggart

"I think a lot of Log Cabin Republicans had their log cabins foreclosed."

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

The native sweet bay species will make a beautiful grove. They'll give you pleasure and increase your house value! Tree's tree nursery. Hmm

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

Reverse Mortgage.

'Your mortgage is under water...so what's the problem?'

Home Foreclosed Home.

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

'Good grief! Our house is so 'smart' it just refinanced itself!'

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

"You can huff and puff all you want. The house is foreclosed and belongs to the bank."

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

Finance Co., Refinance Co.

'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'

Don't be too mad baby... I got a great mortgage deal!

"...I need some closure. Can we go ahead and spin the Wheel Of Blame?"

'How about a reverse-reverse mortgage? In a reverse-reverse mortgage, no one pays anyone anything, and no one seems to care.'

Americans More Optimistic

"Homeowner please help."