Foreclosure Philosopher Gifts

'Here's another sign the housing market still hasn't fully recovered.'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

Meekness of Mr Pecksniff and his Charming Daughter

'You know creativity involves a high tolerance for failure, don't you?'

"Don't worry, Jules. It'll come up on your side of the house in just 12 hours."

Payroll Dept. My economic anxiety has less to do with the weak dollar than the week's dollars! (Published originally on March 14, 2008.)

"Let us pray for the possessed...and the re-possessed"

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

The Old Woman in the shoe questions her decision to spend her empty-nest years in a condo at a ski resort.'

Jay McInerney

"I refuse to go down with the ship."

"Am I rusting? I think one of my sections is sinking. Oh, no! I thought I heard the gate squeak."

'My website? Oh, it was a bit of a one hit wonder.'

First Attempts: Wright Brothers. Hair-plane.

Today's dream house is nothing if not a fantasy.

Dare to Soar. Believe. Dream. Live Simply. One Day at a Time. I think we need a platitude adjustment.

Bitch-Slapped-By-The-Invisible-Hand-Of-The-Marketplace Sale

"As you can see this is pretty embarrassing so I'd appreciate keeping it between you, me and this fence post."

'Oh, I'm unemployed -- but it's not as exciting as it sounds.'

Legends of Hold Music

Just another life lesson son. Nothing in life is free.

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

Bank of Mum and Dad.

"Harold is a closet intellectual and he's never coming out."

How does she get her grass so green?

'I am willing to fail... as long as it's not my fault.'

Women on desert island build themselves a fence to talk over.

'If I didn't flunk something every once in a while, how would I ever learn anything?'

"Ah yes, 'The Three Little Pigs', a cautionary tale of insufficient real estate market analysis."

'I need someone who can relate to failure.'

A vegetarian cursing a cow.

"Well according to this you're sat in my wealth corner."

'Sold?...Sold?...S-O-L-D?...What the hell does that mean?'