Payday Philosopher Gifts

Payroll Dept. My economic anxiety has less to do with the weak dollar than the week's dollars! (Published originally on March 14, 2008.)

'I earn a 7 figure salary! Unfortunately there's a decimal in the wrong place!'

' I would like to deposit my pay check, but I don't want you to laugh.'

'After deductions you owe us forty two pounds.'

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

'It's crunch time, Caldwell. That's the time between when you're born, and when you make your first million.'

Flat tax - equal burden?

'My ambition used to drive the economy. Now it drives my Mercedes.'

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

'Money is a bit tight at the moment, so instead of cash we wondered whether you'd settle for 20% more meaningless protestations of how much we value you?'

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

Money god

Economic Downturns

"Money is life's report card."

"Yes, I am interested in taking a fresh look at my holdings."

"I never said they were well-compensated. I just said they were paid handsomely."

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

"Casual Payday."

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

"Stocks edged lower on the news there's more to life than the accumulation of material things..."

Accountant Manqué

"I can't understand it, we did quite well in the first three quarters.

'Regarding where you stand for a payrise - you don't.'

"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."

"The problem with capitalism is the unequal sharing of wealth. The problem with socialism is the equal sharing of wealth..."

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."