Payday Pundit Gifts

Don't cash it before next Tuesday.

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

Lemonade - $500 A Glass! 'Yes, my prices high, but how else am I supposed to buy a Boulevart M109R? Certainly not on my allowance.'

'Risky, but I like it!'

"Fact amnesty"

"These are 'small bucks,' Josh. You have to work here a long time to get the 'big bucks'."

'The treasury decided to use bob geldof's speechwriter this year!'

Liquidity Lunch

Credit Crunch: Breakfast for Losers.

'This is how our new no-risk pension scheme works.'

Mismanagement Consultant.

I might have granted your loan request, if it wasn't written on a beer mat.

'The very name 'windfall profits' show it's an act of god.'

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

'Hurry up and enjoy your life as a pensioner! Three.. Two.. One..'

Voice of the GOP

Gas Price Reads: Way Too Much.

Old soldiers never die. They just become TV pundits.

"The good news is, we've managed to secure you a ?7 per week pay increase. The bad news is, we're going to charge ?2 per day to park your cars."

'We'd better schedule an autopsy audit.'

Bank of England Base Rates.

Monday is 'Casino Night'.

Euro crisis.

"That is definitely going to be regarded as excess profits"

'Now this is the kind of office decor I like.'

"I blame the regulators for giving predatory pricing a bad name."