Fence Philosopher Gifts

"I'm very pleased with the house but you'd think they would have recognised our need for lower fences."

Women on desert island build themselves a fence to talk over.

So the old man says 'you're getting fixed,' and I'm thinkin', you know, maybe he's gonna patch up the hole in my doghouse...

"Don't worry, Jules. It'll come up on your side of the house in just 12 hours."

"Am I rusting? I think one of my sections is sinking. Oh, no! I thought I heard the gate squeak."

Good fences are more comfortable for gossiping.

'I've told you all the half truths I know - Let's hear some of yours.'

The Mexico Fence

"His grass really is greener!"

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Courage. Love.

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

Deer against capital punishment about to be shot.

You can't get what up

'The hardest thing is convincing the wife that when I'm staring out of the window I'm actually composing a tweet.'

Meekness of Mr Pecksniff and his Charming Daughter

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

"She thought he was a good listener. Turns out he was a decoy."

Grass: We lost some good men today!

'Dog got your clog?'

My definition of 'quality time?'...charging $500 per hour.

"What should I say this is about?"

"Mr. Coughlin over there was the founder of one of the first motorcycle gangs"

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

Dept. de Philosophie

"Why can't they call it a 'Deer' or a 'Squirrel' market?"

'I don't feel at home on the range any more!'

"In the Wild Wild West, we say, if it isn't yours, DON'T TAKE IT..."

"I'm sorry your girlfriend left you, Frank...but you must concentrate on the job!"

"...umm, when was the last time somebody cleaned the fridge?!"

'I hear your fees are very reasonable.'

'I'm sorry, but don't you think fetch is a little overrated?'