Fire-side Philosopher Gifts

Courage. Love.

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

Marshmallows

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

Of pitting his own wits against their natural cunning

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

Deer against capital punishment about to be shot.

Critical Ethanol report

Meekness of Mr Pecksniff and his Charming Daughter

'Heidegger-Hi!'

"Let me take you back to a dark time when all you could do with a phone was make phone calls."

Grass: We lost some good men today!

"Don't worry, Jules. It'll come up on your side of the house in just 12 hours."

Dept. de Philosophie

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

Fuels paradise.

"At first I was homesick....now I'll probably be campsick for awhile!"

"Why can't they call it a 'Deer' or a 'Squirrel' market?"

'This is the last time I get a truck with a think tank.'

The oil crisis.

"I'm sorry your girlfriend left you, Frank...but you must concentrate on the job!"

"I don't think there's enough vodka for another week in Canada."

Book Burning is Always Wrong?

An Alien whose spaceship has tun out of gas is about to meet a human with the same problem.

"Am I rusting? I think one of my sections is sinking. Oh, no! I thought I heard the gate squeak."

Bear bends hunter's guns.

"He says 'fire no rocket science' - whatever that means."

'Sure, this is great, but don't you think we should be exploring alternative energy sources?'

"As you can see this is pretty embarrassing so I'd appreciate keeping it between you, me and this fence post."

'I'd give anything to be able to sit down.'

Poet and Peasant

"Ig a skyscraper collapses in the cit and I don't hear it...will we care?"

'I just hiked over a mile with that bear while debating the use of nuclear energy. I told you these animals are used to people.'