Hotel Stay Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Mind if I take a bath first, pet."

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

Mini Bar

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

Bed and Breakfast

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

'Front desk? Someone came in my room and ate the little candies on my pillow.'

'I really felt at home there. The food was awful!'

'Room service? Please send up some fish oil.'

"There's a less crowded and more attractive beach at the newly renovated, moderately priced Hotel del Mar, in nearby . . ."

'No luggage.'

Harbor Hotel: 'Absolutely NO swashbuckling after 10 PM'.

Sparrow Hilton

Room service.

"I'd like to leave a wake up call for, . ... OHH ..., April."

'I brought my mini bar with me.'

'Hello, Room Service?'

"I thought you booked us a king?"

'We only have rooms with real teeth left!'

Holiday-maker taking hotel's entire drinking water supply, "All inclusive, then!"

'This room is a tad small but cozy.'

Medical Emergencies on Holiday.

"If there's anything we can do to make your stay more pleasant, just rant about it all over the Internet."

happy bellboy carrying suitcases

Live Elevator Music 3-7:30.

"I'm so tired I can't think straight. Give me a room that's idiot-proof."

'I'm finished with the towels so I left them on the floor. Now where can I leave my husband?'

Chamber Pot - En Suite

'Ah, you must be the cleaner. I'm the dirtier.'

Nightmare Hotel Tea Trolley

'I'll take the room for Winter: Please put a 'Do Not Disturb Until Spring' sign on the door...'