Hotel Stay Enthusiast Pillows

"Mind if I take a bath first, pet."

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

Mini Bar

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

Bed and Breakfast

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.

'Front desk? Someone came in my room and ate the little candies on my pillow.'

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

'I really felt at home there. The food was awful!'

"There's a less crowded and more attractive beach at the newly renovated, moderately priced Hotel del Mar, in nearby . . ."

'Room service? Please send up some fish oil.'

Harbor Hotel: 'Absolutely NO swashbuckling after 10 PM'.

Room service.

Sparrow Hilton

'No luggage.'

"I'd like to leave a wake up call for, . ... OHH ..., April."

'Hello, Room Service?'

'I brought my mini bar with me.'

'We only have rooms with real teeth left!'

Holiday-maker taking hotel's entire drinking water supply, "All inclusive, then!"

'This room is a tad small but cozy.'

"A double room with twin minibars, please!"

"I thought you booked us a king?"

Medical Emergencies on Holiday.

"If there's anything we can do to make your stay more pleasant, just rant about it all over the Internet."

happy bellboy carrying suitcases

Live Elevator Music 3-7:30.

"I'm so tired I can't think straight. Give me a room that's idiot-proof."

Chamber Pot - En Suite

'Ah, you must be the cleaner. I'm the dirtier.'

'I'm finished with the towels so I left them on the floor. Now where can I leave my husband?'

'I was just wondering if you already ate that chocolate they left on your pillow last night?"