Hotel Experience Aficionados Pillows

"Hello. This is Sleeping Beauty in Room 306. I'd like to book an early morning wake up kiss please."

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

'Oh - go get yourself a porsche.'

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

'I really felt at home there. The food was awful!'

'Room service? Please send up some fish oil.'

Harbor Hotel: 'Absolutely NO swashbuckling after 10 PM'.

'You're talking three million, ballpark

Room service.

"Mind if I take a bath first, pet."

Sparrow Hilton

'No luggage.'

"I'd like to leave a wake up call for, . ... OHH ..., April."

'I brought my mini bar with me.'

'Hello, Room Service?'

De Luxe Model - Cupholders.

'Waiter there is an aeroplane in my soup!'

Medical Emergencies on Holiday.

'This room is a tad small but cozy.'

'The jacuzzi, the workshop and the wine cellar is standard, but the swimming pool, the grill patio and the media room is optional!'. (Selling an oversize SUV).

Elephant Upgrade

happy bellboy carrying suitcases

"I'm so tired I can't think straight. Give me a room that's idiot-proof."

Live Elevator Music 3-7:30.

Chamber Pot - En Suite

'Ah, you must be the cleaner. I'm the dirtier.'

'I'll take the room for Winter: Please put a 'Do Not Disturb Until Spring' sign on the door...'

"Got to go, dear. The Doctor's treating me."

'Hi. I'm Tiffany and I'll be your waitress tonight -- this agreement may be terminated by either party at any time.'

'Oh, those are just for show. We don't have electricity.'

"Is that the corporate rate?"