Hotel Experiences Pillows

'Less important people...'

'Hello, Room Service?'

"Get me room service."

"Yes, housekeeping? These bathrobes are out of control!"

'No luggage.'

'Generally we don't provide separate wake up calls for little teddy bears.'

'This room is a tad small but cozy.'

La Table

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

Mini Bar

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

'It's the bill for your trip to France. When you called to ask if it was okay to bathe in Champagne, I thought you meant the place.'

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

'Front desk? Someone came in my room and ate the little candies on my pillow.'

'I really felt at home there. The food was awful!'

'Room service? Please send up some fish oil.'

"There's a less crowded and more attractive beach at the newly renovated, moderately priced Hotel del Mar, in nearby . . ."

Room service.

Sparrow Hilton

"Mind if I take a bath first, pet."

"Such a heavenly night I spent in your bed."

"I'd like to leave a wake up call for, . ... OHH ..., April."

'I brought my mini bar with me.'

'Something exotic and wildly expensive for me and a pick me up for my husband when you give him the bill.'

Paris Hilton

Medical Emergencies on Holiday.

"I thought you booked us a king?"

"A double room with twin minibars, please!"

Holiday-maker taking hotel's entire drinking water supply, "All inclusive, then!"

"If there's anything we can do to make your stay more pleasant, just rant about it all over the Internet."