Hotel Experiences Pillows

'Less important people...'

'Hello, Room Service?'

"Get me room service."

"Yes, housekeeping? These bathrobes are out of control!"

'No luggage.'

'Generally we don't provide separate wake up calls for little teddy bears.'

'This room is a tad small but cozy.'

La Table

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

Mini Bar

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

'It's the bill for your trip to France. When you called to ask if it was okay to bathe in Champagne, I thought you meant the place.'

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

'Front desk? Someone came in my room and ate the little candies on my pillow.'

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.

'I really felt at home there. The food was awful!'

'Room service? Please send up some fish oil.'

"There's a less crowded and more attractive beach at the newly renovated, moderately priced Hotel del Mar, in nearby . . ."

"Such a heavenly night I spent in your bed."

Room service.

Sparrow Hilton

"Mind if I take a bath first, pet."

"I'd like to leave a wake up call for, . ... OHH ..., April."

'I brought my mini bar with me.'

Medical Emergencies on Holiday.

Holiday-maker taking hotel's entire drinking water supply, "All inclusive, then!"

'Something exotic and wildly expensive for me and a pick me up for my husband when you give him the bill.'

"I thought you booked us a king?"

"If there's anything we can do to make your stay more pleasant, just rant about it all over the Internet."

happy bellboy carrying suitcases

"I'm so tired I can't think straight. Give me a room that's idiot-proof."