Hotel Experience Aficionado T-Shirts

'Let me call someone to get your trunk.'

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

'Now here's a place I like!'

"We have all the brochures, but we can't decide if we want to die on Mt. Everest or Mt. McKinley."

'we must be near the water because I see a sea gull.'

Why Cows Leave Home

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

'Must be the lesser known Easter Egg Island.'

"I said isn't it great to get away from it all."

'Oh boy, meals on wheels.'

A traveler comments on the red in the sunset. A wine drinker misunderstands, thinking the traveler is referring to the red wine.

Gates A-B Taking Care of Business, C-D Funny Business, E-F Do Your Business.

The Airport.

"Enjoy your stay at the Bat Hotel. Breakfast is at 7 a.m. The guano bucket is down the hall and to the left."

'Business or pleasure?'

"Mine's camper."

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'

"We finally made it - Switzerland!"

"How come I always get the crying baby right behind me?"

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

'What'll it be: rough-and-ready, ready or not, not on your life, or life's a beach?'

"We're at the Grand Marina Hotel in Barcelona. Some sheepdog you turned out to be."

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"

"They become aggressive when you recline them."

'Well, dammit, I say he should stop and ask someone!'

Goose checking his GPS.

"Heads-up, the tourists are coming."

Single men in Tahiti

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

"Shoot, I forgot this place has early checkout."

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

'Yes, It's in that direction.'

Tokyo City Limits

Robin Hood Flies.