Hotel Stay Aficionado T-Shirts

'There aren't any towels in room 211.'

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

'Now here's a place I like!'

"We have all the brochures, but we can't decide if we want to die on Mt. Everest or Mt. McKinley."

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

'we must be near the water because I see a sea gull.'

Why Cows Leave Home

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'Must be the lesser known Easter Egg Island.'

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

"I said isn't it great to get away from it all."

'Oh boy, meals on wheels.'

A traveler comments on the red in the sunset. A wine drinker misunderstands, thinking the traveler is referring to the red wine.

Gates A-B Taking Care of Business, C-D Funny Business, E-F Do Your Business.

The Airport.

Do not disturb...

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

Mini Bar

"Enjoy your stay at the Bat Hotel. Breakfast is at 7 a.m. The guano bucket is down the hall and to the left."

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

"How come I always get the crying baby right behind me?"

"Mine's camper."

'It's not Spring yet! Go back to sleep!'

'Business or pleasure?'

"We finally made it - Switzerland!"

This is our 36th nap today - I can't read you a bedtime story EVERY time.

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

'What'll it be: rough-and-ready, ready or not, not on your life, or life's a beach?'