Hotel Hopping Hero Pillows

'No you can't take my name... it's mine!'

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Best Before 5th Pint.

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from restless dreams, transformed into a monstrous vermin, he thought to himself: never again bourbon and tequila in the same night, and this time, I mean it."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"By 'dress down day', most of us mean not wearing a jacket!"

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

"Hey! Hey! I could gopher another lemon drop over here, please and thank you."

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

"We're here, Harry."

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"

Join me in a Caiprinha!

'Restaurant' in bad need of staff

"It's a full moon somewhere."

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure."

'Get the theatre ready we got another one from the cocktail bar.'

'This is the part of the rat race that I don't challenge.'

"I belong to that heroic little band of unemployed on whom a healthy economy depends."

'It was a lot more congenial when we had happy hour.'

Pints of Lager