Hotel Hijinks Enthusiast Pillows

"Faster! By God, you'll earn that tip yet!"

'I'm your stand in, your Gideon Bible has been stolen'

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

'I really felt at home there. The food was awful!'

'I see the Maids have been in!'

Room service.

Sparrow Hilton

Harbor Hotel: 'Absolutely NO swashbuckling after 10 PM'.

'Room service? Please send up some fish oil.'

"Mind if I take a bath first, pet."

Graffiti on baseboard.

"I'd like to leave a wake up call for, . ... OHH ..., April."

'I brought my mini bar with me.'

Bed or breakfast.

"I'm in a shared room?! What kind of hole is this?"

'Hello, Room Service?'

"Here’s your room key and mini-bar."

No petting in the pool!

Medical Emergencies on Holiday.

'We only have rooms with real teeth left!'

happy bellboy carrying suitcases

"Do you have a room for a couple of knights?"

Live Elevator Music 3-7:30.

"I'm so tired I can't think straight. Give me a room that's idiot-proof."

'Ah, you must be the cleaner. I'm the dirtier.'

Chamber Pot - En Suite

'Service Lift.'

"Apparently our hotel is just a stone's throw from the beach..!"

"Next time you ask the maid for extra towels, be sure to tip her."

But the brochures says breakfast in bed! Yes, only if you carry your bed down to the dining room!

'I'll take the room for Winter: Please put a 'Do Not Disturb Until Spring' sign on the door...'

'Oh, those are just for show. We don't have electricity.'