Hotel Hopping Hero Gifts

'No you can't take my name... it's mine!'

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Best Before 5th Pint.

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from restless dreams, transformed into a monstrous vermin, he thought to himself: never again bourbon and tequila in the same night, and this time, I mean it."

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"By 'dress down day', most of us mean not wearing a jacket!"

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

"Hey! Hey! I could gopher another lemon drop over here, please and thank you."

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

"Enjoy your stay at the Bat Hotel. Breakfast is at 7 a.m. The guano bucket is down the hall and to the left."

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

"It's a full moon somewhere."

"We're here, Harry."

Join me in a Caiprinha!

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"

A bar selling 'crafty' beer is more popular than a bar selling 'craft' beer.

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

'Restaurant' in bad need of staff

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure."

"It takes me only one drink to get drunk. Its either the seventh or eighth."

"I belong to that heroic little band of unemployed on whom a healthy economy depends."

Pints of Lager

'Get the theatre ready we got another one from the cocktail bar.'