Hotel-hopping Humorist Gifts

And it even has your name on the pocket!

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Airport Security.

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

Camping holidays in the British summer.

"Didn't you just say that?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

"My guess it's guacamole."

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

"That reminds me. . . did you remember to pack the viagra?"

The leaning tower of Pizza.

'I'm just here on a lay-over.'

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

Biliard Enthusiast

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.