Hotel Humorist Gifts

'I know we asked for a room with running water,but...'

'Thanks, that looks delicious, charge it to my room, would you?'

'I'll take the room for Winter: Please pu a 'Do Not Disturb Until Spring' sign on the door...'

Compliments of the House.

Octopus porter.

And another thing...someone left this small chocolate on my pillow!

'Hello, Room Service?'

I'd like a single room until the hunting season is over.

Bed or breakfast.

'What do you mean there's no room for the 'no vacancy' sign?'

'I know there are a lot of Smiths about but is there a teeny-weeny chance we could be related?'

But the brochures says breakfast in bed! Yes, only if you carry your bed down to the dining room!

No petting in the pool!

'I see the Maids have been in!'

"I apologise for the delay gentlemen. Bear with me!"

You May Torch The Room

'Service Lift.'

"Next time you ask the maid for extra towels, be sure to tip her."

"Excuse me, sir. Our phones are down, so I'm here with your wake-up call."

"Kid awake in number 5."

"Here’s your room key and mini-bar."

"Don't be silly!He's the doorman"

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

'Hi, we'd like 2 orders of the codfish with mixed vegetables - only without the codfish - we've got our own.'

'I'd like a single room until the hunting season is over!' (duck to hotel receptionist)

"Welcome back, Mr Smith."

Maid using a gridiron as a warming-pan in an Irish hotel.

"As you can see, I already have a towel."

Minotaur Exits Maze As Doorman Calls Cab

It's time for room 310's wake up call. Release the cat.

Man obeys 'Do not disturb' sign covered in blood.

Remote Control Filth

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Ice Cream Surgeon