Hotel Humor Lover Gifts

Hotel California

'This oughta slow them down.'

'I'd like to leave a wake-up call.'

Ring for Service

'The big book is for the 'Smiths'...'

Branch No3 is free sir: It will be $10...

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Larry's used art

Grace For Flies

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

'Remember only you can prevent forest fires.'

"Why do they do that?"

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

Beach con-man.

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

Fly Football

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"States of tofu"