Hotel Humor Lover Pillows

'This oughta slow them down.'

'I'd like to leave a wake-up call.'

Ring for Service

'The big book is for the 'Smiths'...'

Branch No3 is free sir: It will be $10...

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Larry's used art

Grace For Flies

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Why do they do that?"

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Beach con-man.

"Hmm...well...It'll look better when it's finished...!"

"States of tofu"

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

Fly Football

"And you're certain these are accidents?"