Globe-trotting Humorist Gifts

Check those blueprints again --- I don't think were supposed to put the freezer on both the top and the bottom.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Airport Security.

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

'When you said he was very talented, I thought you meant in business.'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

Biliard Enthusiast

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"I think I know why they call it 'Happydale'!"

"Admit it, you're lost!"

'HA! Your last chance 86 miles back.'

'One carry-on!'

"It seemed bigger in the brochure."

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.

"I could have sworn Arizona was landlocked."

'Are we nearly there yet Dad?'