Globe-trotting Laugh-seeker Gifts

"The reason why U.S. time is behind English time is because England was discovered first..."

The trips postponed by La Covid continue

'I can't pronounce either his name or the out-sourced country where he works.'

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

Stonehenge Imitation

"200,000 other people have also highlighted this passage of the E-book, you common idiot."

'l leave worrying about taxes to those who pay them.'

"We saw the Great Wall and lots of pagodas, and I have a transplanted stomach."

"So how does New York stack up against Uzbekistan?"

"Stay back. I don't know what he's got, but I'm afraid it's catching."

'If this is a non-stop flight, how do we get off?'

"You are going on a long journey. You will throw your back out putting your bag in the overhead. You will never recover from jet lag. It will rain every day. You will lose your passport. Your flight home will be cancelled."

'I do wish he'd stop showing off in front of his friends.'

'Luggage is luggage, sir -- just try to be happy with what you've got.'

"Happy National Pride Month."

'You know you said you 'fancied fish for supper,' you might want to think again!'

'Listen, be fair, George - it's your TURN to take Mrs McCarthy for her lesson.'

London on £50 a meal

'Not so fast, Louie -- this may be a trap...'

Ratted!

'We had an all-inclusive-holiday. Bad weather, lousy food, arrogant waiters, crappy hotel and outrageous prices - all that was included.'

'You could get a bigger model, but you'd have to pay extra!'

'Yes, our cruises allow travellers to choose from several viruses...I mean, ports of call.'

Bogga Springs - Twinned with Geneva

What started off as a quiet bath for Stanley suddenly turned awkward...

Psy and the end of the world.

"The good news is we're sending you overseas for this feature."

Check those blueprints again --- I don't think were supposed to put the freezer on both the top and the bottom.

Hay-on-Kwai Festival

Medusa

The World According to Trump

Street light theft

The Muscle in Brussels