Globetrotting Jokester Gifts

"So how does New York stack up against Uzbekistan?"

Airport Security.

Cow Blue Arrows

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Men dancing

'Ã…w, gee whiz, Mom -- all the other kids have velociraptors!'

Airline: Arrivals, Departures, Missing Luggage and Missing Planes.

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

Man skated through airport with rollers on pull bag.

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

First Speeding Fine.

You're Here. Man, You Really Look Like An Idiot!

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

"It's me. I was going through a 'Bon Jovi Phase.'"

"People are way too casual when they fly these days."

'And that one painted and forgot to close the curtains.'

Celebrity Clown Rehab: 'And so how does that make you feel, Chuckles?'

"There it is again, that tapping..."

Dentists who do appendectomies.

Customs caution: rabid tarantulas with AIDS inside

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

'We'd like to visit a peaceful police state away from any terror treats.'

'If this is a non-stop flight, how do we get off?'

"... Yes, I know there's a hole in your ceiling. Why do you think we're called, the star view motel?"

Pamplona bull instructions - Running with the Idiots.

Pantomimes Are Lousy Painters. . .

Excess Baggage: Never let your wife pack for your business trip while she is mad at you.

Lav-Mummie

"In my defense it is an exit and the line was really long..."

I laughed so hard that milk came out my nose.

"Attention. This is your captain screaming!"

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."