Globetrotting Jokester Pillows

"So how does New York stack up against Uzbekistan?"

Airport Security.

Cow Blue Arrows

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

Men dancing

'Ã…w, gee whiz, Mom -- all the other kids have velociraptors!'

The first transatlantic communication.

Airline: Arrivals, Departures, Missing Luggage and Missing Planes.

First Speeding Fine.

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

Man skated through airport with rollers on pull bag.

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

You're Here. Man, You Really Look Like An Idiot!

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

"It's me. I was going through a 'Bon Jovi Phase.'"

'And that one painted and forgot to close the curtains.'

"People are way too casual when they fly these days."

Dentists who do appendectomies.

"There it is again, that tapping..."

Celebrity Clown Rehab: 'And so how does that make you feel, Chuckles?'

'If this is a non-stop flight, how do we get off?'

Customs caution: rabid tarantulas with AIDS inside

'We'd like to visit a peaceful police state away from any terror treats.'

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

Excess Baggage: Never let your wife pack for your business trip while she is mad at you.

"... Yes, I know there's a hole in your ceiling. Why do you think we're called, the star view motel?"

I laughed so hard that milk came out my nose.

Lav-Mummie

"In my defense it is an exit and the line was really long..."

Pantomimes Are Lousy Painters. . .

"Attention. This is your captain screaming!"

Pamplona bull instructions - Running with the Idiots.

How to deal with rude customers.