Globetrotter With Humor Pillows

'Yes, our cruises allow travellers to choose from several viruses...I mean, ports of call.'

My God, I need to fart.

The Family Joules: Part 5

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

"Arr, we found your luggage, Captain."

"I picked this one up in France while my wife had her hip replaced."

Connected to the world

Easter Island.

Australasia.

The Family Joules: Part 8

"So how does New York stack up against Uzbekistan?"

A woman knits from a globe.

'If this is a non-stop flight, how do we get off?'

'We'd like to visit a peaceful police state away from any terror treats.'

"You are going on a long journey. You will throw your back out putting your bag in the overhead. You will never recover from jet lag. It will rain every day. You will lose your passport. Your flight home will be cancelled."

"Why are you cancelling your trip to Switzerland?"

In the wake of tourism...

How to deal with rude customers.

'And this is the small print in your travel insurance...'

Beefsteak travel, hamburger budget.

'Which vacation destination do you prefer: a country where Americans are feared, idolized, envied or hated? Or shall we just let that be a surpriese?'

'A cruise by air, sir, is called a 'tour'.'

Excess Baggage: Perhaps you should have washed those clothes before returning home form your overseas vacation.

'Luggage is luggage, sir -- just try to be happy with what you've got.'

'Your plane's been delayed 20 minutes...or however long it takes airplane glue to dry.'

"You've got a lot of excess baggage."

Bernie's passport photo was so bad, he was banned in sixteen countries for over five years.

London on £50 a meal

'Brilliant, these 'no smiling' passports make identification so much easier.'

'We had an all-inclusive-holiday. Bad weather, lousy food, arrogant waiters, crappy hotel and outrageous prices - all that was included.'

'You could get a bigger model, but you'd have to pay extra!'

"We'd like 5 star accommodation but with some interesting poverty nearby."

Bogga Springs - Twinned with Geneva

Failed Medical Tourism

Check those blueprints again --- I don't think were supposed to put the freezer on both the top and the bottom.