Globetrotter With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

'We had an all-inclusive-holiday. Bad weather, lousy food, arrogant waiters, crappy hotel and outrageous prices - all that was included.'

The World According to Trump

'Luggage is luggage, sir -- just try to be happy with what you've got.'

My God, I need to fart.

The Family Joules: Part 5

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

"Arr, we found your luggage, Captain."

'Since you're wearing cargo pants, everything in your pockets is considered cargo and subject to a tariff.'

Anthony Bourdain with Chopsticks

"The whole thing's much smaller than it seemed on TV."

"I picked this one up in France while my wife had her hip replaced."

The Family Joules: Part 8

"So how does New York stack up against Uzbekistan?"

A woman knits from a globe.

Australasia.

Easter Island.

'If this is a non-stop flight, how do we get off?'

'We'd like to visit a peaceful police state away from any terror treats.'

'No, I'm afraid we're dull. But we do have two vacancies in the Kitchen.'

"Why are you cancelling your trip to Switzerland?"

Holiday photos.

"You are going on a long journey. You will throw your back out putting your bag in the overhead. You will never recover from jet lag. It will rain every day. You will lose your passport. Your flight home will be cancelled."

In the wake of tourism...

How to deal with rude customers.

'Which vacation destination do you prefer: a country where Americans are feared, idolized, envied or hated? Or shall we just let that be a surpriese?'

Beefsteak travel, hamburger budget.

'And this is the small print in your travel insurance...'

Toilet door. Table for one!

'A cruise by air, sir, is called a 'tour'.'

Excess Baggage: Perhaps you should have washed those clothes before returning home form your overseas vacation.

'Your plane's been delayed 20 minutes...or however long it takes airplane glue to dry.'

'It's just that I never know what to pack.'

London on £50 a meal

Welcome to the USA: Only 17,000 gun deaths so far this year. . !

Bernie's passport photo was so bad, he was banned in sixteen countries for over five years.