Globetrotters With Humor Pillows

"You are going on a long journey. You will throw your back out putting your bag in the overhead. You will never recover from jet lag. It will rain every day. You will lose your passport. Your flight home will be cancelled."

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

Snowmen Around The World...

'We'd just like to get away from all leading economic indicators for a while.'

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

Technological Dependence.

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

"Seriously, I'm not lost: I'm a travel writer..."

Couple putting baby through the scanner.

Ghosts from around the world

Directions.

"Well that's just great!! I guess we really are flightless birds now!!"

'Do you have a flight that will get us to Gate 2?'

"So how does New York stack up against Uzbekistan?"

"I never thought I'd say this, but I kinda miss people."

Australasia.

Easter Island.

"I said 'how about some dessert,' Andy. Dessert!"

'My wife isn't really a morning person.'

"New York are at Lunch, Munich are at Coffee and Tokyo are at Lunch."

'If this is a non-stop flight, how do we get off?'

'We'd like to visit a peaceful police state away from any terror treats.'

'I could use a change of scenery. Let's fly to Cape Cod.'

"Hi, scheduling? I might be a little late. I'm stuck in traffic."

'I think they're getting ready for a feeding frenzy.'

"Where in the world can we bore people senseless about this year?"

How to deal with rude customers.

A gawp of tourists

'Been there, done that' travel agency. Serving the seriously jaded tourist since 1995.

'And this is the small print in your travel insurance...'

"I've had a look at our revised pension forecast..."

"I'm sorry--I meant to say 'island paradise,' not 'soft target'"