Globetrotters With Humor Pillows

"You are going on a long journey. You will throw your back out putting your bag in the overhead. You will never recover from jet lag. It will rain every day. You will lose your passport. Your flight home will be cancelled."

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

'We'd just like to get away from all leading economic indicators for a while.'

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

Technological Dependence.

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

"Seriously, I'm not lost: I'm a travel writer..."

Couple putting baby through the scanner.

Directions.

"Well that's just great!! I guess we really are flightless birds now!!"

'Do you have a flight that will get us to Gate 2?'

'My wife isn't really a morning person.'

"I said 'how about some dessert,' Andy. Dessert!"

Australasia.

"So how does New York stack up against Uzbekistan?"

Easter Island.

"I never thought I'd say this, but I kinda miss people."

"New York are at Lunch, Munich are at Coffee and Tokyo are at Lunch."

'We'd like to visit a peaceful police state away from any terror treats.'

'If this is a non-stop flight, how do we get off?'

'I could use a change of scenery. Let's fly to Cape Cod.'

'I think they're getting ready for a feeding frenzy.'

"Hi, scheduling? I might be a little late. I'm stuck in traffic."

A gawp of tourists

'Been there, done that' travel agency. Serving the seriously jaded tourist since 1995.

"I'm sorry--I meant to say 'island paradise,' not 'soft target'"

'And this is the small print in your travel insurance...'

'Why isn't there zero tolerance to drugs and alcohol?'