Globe-trotting Humorist Pillows

Airport Security.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'When you said he was very talented, I thought you meant in business.'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

Biliard Enthusiast

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"I think I know why they call it 'Happydale'!"

'One carry-on!'

"Admit it, you're lost!"

'HA! Your last chance 86 miles back.'

'Are we nearly there yet Dad?'

Airport Toilet Hand Drying Machine

"Next time, I'm flying business class."

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.

"It seemed bigger in the brochure."