Hotel Connoisseur Gifts

'With or without private sandbox?'

'Hello front desk? There are a couple of little cooties on my pillow!'

Excess Baggage: For many of us, 'Roughing it' means staying at a hotel without room service.

"I think I need an extra pillow."

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

Wifi in Hell

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

Hats and Food

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"We evolved from asteroids"

Yummy Mummies

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"Quick swig first?"

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

Casino. Keno. $$$. Win. Cashier. He sure wins a lot! He's "Keno Savvy."

'The service is so much better when you dress as royalty.'

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

"I can't wait for things to get back to normal."

Site of new Super Gamblers Anonymous.

'Our businessman's special includes fortune cookies filled with stock tips'

What's the insect de jour?

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

"Both the wine and I need to breathe, Albert."

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

Man frozen in portrait pose.

'It is so nice to be able to take a break mid trip...'

"Didn't I say you'd be the only man not wearing a bow tie?"

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

Moliere