Noble Connoisseur Gifts

'I used to have serfs, but I've found that free-range peasants are more efficient.'

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"He's an abstract artist."

Sundar Pichai's first doodle.

Bathroom Fairy

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"It's called 'Sold'."

'I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

Moliere

"Who's the artist?"

Charles Dickens.

Bleak House

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

'Now I'm going to lump all your nagging little worries into one big complex.'

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

'Do you have an appointment?'

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'

' I hear she was quite the collector...'

'Your baseball card has more value than you do.'

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

"...And when the world economy collapses, we all stand up and take over! Agreed?"

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

Sergei Rachmaninov

"That's a nice little book. It didn't waste too much of my time."