Hot Dog Hero Gifts

"What about the five that fell through?"

"Are the hot dogs the burned ones or the really burned ones?"

'I was just going to go for your hot dogs, but you put them all the way up in that tree, so...Sorry.'

Diner to cook: 'Now, I'm not complaining, but why is there a flea collar on my chili dog?'

What's not to like? They're cheap, tasty adn don't destroy the Rain Forest.

Hot dog vendor with military-style equipment.

Hot Dog

'That was fun!'

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

Best Before 5th Pint.

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from restless dreams, transformed into a monstrous vermin, he thought to himself: never again bourbon and tequila in the same night, and this time, I mean it."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"By 'dress down day', most of us mean not wearing a jacket!"

Back in 5 minutes!

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

Oh no ... Outsourcing

"Hey! Hey! I could gopher another lemon drop over here, please and thank you."

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

"Make me one with everything!"

'We've conducted a chemical analysis of the beef in hot dogs, and we've determined, Mr Ruth, you are guilty of steroid enhancement.'

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

Join me in a Caiprinha!

A bar selling 'crafty' beer is more popular than a bar selling 'craft' beer.