Hosting Aficionado Gifts

'You're dead on time for drinks-I didn't realise our whistling kettle was THAT loud!'

Mr. Punch's Fancy Ball

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

I love my family!

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

"Commandments aren't really selling these days. However, we're willing to consider self-help tips or personal improvement ideas."

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

Twister:Rural Social Networking

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

Editor.

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

"I see you have a lot of experience in re-tail. . ."

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

Mark Twain and Charles Dickens make a joint appearance on the lecture circuit

'Sorry, we can't offer you a job but we would like to publish your CV.'

Dip Pen

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

"Perhaps Monsieur would care for something more expensive?"

Lemming mothers

7 Dwarves of Fatherhood

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

Comedian faces audience of clowns: 'Ooh, tough crowd.'

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

"That news you're reading is 24 hours old. I can get it 23 hours and 57 minutes sooner online."

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

"Would you mind taking a look at this collection of my poems? Your opinion would mean a lot."

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

'You can social network me behind my ears if you like.'

"I was at a party with SO many famous people, I was the only one there I'd never heard of..!"

Honey, I'm home. Did you change Kyle's diaper?

'...and do you solemnly swear to update your facebook status to 'married'?'

"This is Kevin. Kevin was uncool before uncool was cool."

Wifi Peacock