Hospitality Industry Celebration Pillows

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

Cardiac Recovery.

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

Prawn Cocktail Please

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

"Valet park only"

"What's happened to Quiche?"

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

The Suite Hereafter

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

Mini Bar

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

"Well, he's a celebrity chef and the celebreties love his cooking."

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

"Didn't I say you'd be the only man not wearing a bow tie?"

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

'I'll have your head on a platter.'