Hospitality Industry Humorists Pillows

Hotel heartless - No Teddies Allowed

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

Ice Cream Surgeon

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'It feels warm enough to me.'

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

Death Styles of the Rich and Famous

Bed and Breakfast

'I hired a motivational speaker once, but unfortunately all of my employees left to get better jobs.'

'Your ten percent tip.'

"Your bedside health care book ... thanks for not reading it."

'Lovely soup, just like my mother used to open.'

"What, exactly, did you say to the maître d'?"

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

Shareholder's Meetings

'What a bargain!'

People often have us confused with investment bankers. We loot and plunder, leaving a mess wherever we go, and when there are complaints we claim endangered species status.

" ....you didn't say wanted one that worked."

"Members of the board, my indecision is final."

'Then someone hit on the idea of selling our torture devices to fitness centers.'

Graffiti on baseboard.

"Apologies for the delay. Your eggs Benedict should be up soon."

'I see the Maids have been in!'

'I'm sorry, but the soup of the day was just tripped over by the employee of the month.'

'Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.'

"The doctor's running late. Feel free to catch up on your binge watching with our waiting room TV."

'As you both know, here at Frump, Cuttle and Howsen, failure is not an option, so that only leaves blame.'

'That pest in 453 is being discharged.'

Heavy Metal Scrap Merchants.

"Buck up, go home and be nice to the new kitty."

Bed or breakfast.

'Hello, Room Service?'

Stan's OK Deliveries

"Here’s your room key and mini-bar."