Hospital Legal Buffer Gifts

'Don't worry, I haven't sued any patients. I got the J.D. as a deterrent to lawsuits!'

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

Planet of the Lawyers

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

"Why, Mr. Larsen! We were about ready to give up on you."

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

Presidential surveillance ass!"

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

'Would you like the ECG tracing of your father's death? It's the least we can do.'

"Jughead, Reggie, Betty, and Veronica—they've all been locked up. But you, Archie—I had higher hopes for you."

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

"As your attorney, I must strongly advise you against bringing the high heat."

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

'And Remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Upholding the Law

'Last year's 'Bring your pet to work day' turned out very well.'

Celebration in operating theatre.

"I don't think you have a case. It's only slander if it's not true, and I've heard you play."

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."

'It's a screaming ladies part.'

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

'Either I've got bad news for you or my watch has stopped...'

"My agent."