Hospital Buff Gifts

Hospital Cleaning.

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"We need to update your entire operating system."

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

"It's good you're avoiding radioactive pieces of your destroyed home planet that deprive you of your superpowers... but you should also watch the sodium."

Man with arrow in back - "We're going to run some tests to see if it's psychosomatic."

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

So, have you had this 'human flu' yet?

Our 4 Branches of Government

"Relax, I'm only hear to see my osteopath."

'I know just how you feel.'

"Sorry, it will have to be fire, police or ambulance. Superman is busy right now."

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

'Why are you giving me an allergy shot. Shouldn't you be giving me an anti-allergy shot?'

"Can't talk now. Cramming for tomorrow's stress test."

Medicare: More is Better!

"I had no idea that exercising my right of immunity meant this."

Fart Sample.

'This won't take long, Senator -- I'm a single-issue nut.'

Water: the first medicine

Zika Mosquitos

'I doubt whether the Green Goddesses can cope with this.'

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

Tommy John Surgery.

'We need someone on the outside.'

'Lucky for you there was a safety net.'