Hospital Buff Gifts

Hospital Cleaning.

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"We need to update your entire operating system."

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

"It's good you're avoiding radioactive pieces of your destroyed home planet that deprive you of your superpowers... but you should also watch the sodium."

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

Man with arrow in back - "We're going to run some tests to see if it's psychosomatic."

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'I know just how you feel.'

"Relax, I'm only hear to see my osteopath."

"Sorry, it will have to be fire, police or ambulance. Superman is busy right now."

So, have you had this 'human flu' yet?

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

Our 4 Branches of Government

'Why are you giving me an allergy shot. Shouldn't you be giving me an anti-allergy shot?'

"Can't talk now. Cramming for tomorrow's stress test."

Medicare: More is Better!

"I had no idea that exercising my right of immunity meant this."

Fart Sample.

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

'I doubt whether the Green Goddesses can cope with this.'

Water: the first medicine

'We need someone on the outside.'

'This won't take long, Senator -- I'm a single-issue nut.'

Zika Mosquitos

'Lucky for you there was a safety net.'

"Your D.N.A. test shows you're predisposed to sue doctors."