Hospitality Buff Gifts

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

Coffee Cartoon - Rude Barista.

'This room is a tad small but cozy.'

'You're sitting in the smoking section, pal - Light up or get out!'

'I sent out for everything.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Ice Cream Surgeon

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Cardiac Recovery.

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

'Couldn't you think of anything to say to Herb and Mary? They were nice enough to invite us over.'

"Valet park only"

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

Opening the Barrel

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

'It feels warm enough to me.'

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.