Hospital Lobby Lurkers Gifts

'This one was too patient.'

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

"Are you Matthew Jones with a double 'T'?"

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

'Everything is going to be fine, Mrs.Witzer...'

'Would you like the ECG tracing of your father's death? It's the least we can do.'

Push, push, push...

"Since Dr Mullin's ill, a temp from Manpower will perform your liver transplant."

Hell's Angels

"Just give me the truth, Doc...I can tell when you're trying to humor me."

Doctor about spinning plates on patient: 'I'm concerned about his platelets.'

NHS Efficiency Drive

"When they said they were bringing in students I thought they meant MEDICAL students."

"Everyone loved working with Doctor Patel... Beer!"

Doctor and nurse having a chat.

"Good?"

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

'So did you want the ectomy, or just the otomy?'

"Don't just stand there gawping women! Give me a hand with my monthly salary!"

'Congratulations, its a six pound biker.'

"So laughter isn't the best medicine..."

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

"Sorry Mr Penrose. We forgot to shake your medicine this morning."

'BOy! Talk about organ rejection!'

"5 second rule!"

"I'm removing the liver.. No, the kidneys... Presure, pressure, what's that blobby thing?"

'I like your spirit - nine out of ten people would admit roller-disco wasn't for them!'

'Dr. Frisinger thinks he may have left a clamp in you.'

'Hold it, you can cancel that STAT call.'

'Where did you say the new anaesthetist trained?'

'These are from my attorneys for malpractice suit.'

Surgery / Canteen - The perplexities of priorites.